Lost and Found
by Suzu-chan
Summary: Sai POV. Sai thinks about her feelings for Kaede as she watches her sleep. SaixKaede


I don't own the characters or Angelic Layer, Clamp does. This is a Sai POV fanfic (I seem to be writing just POVs, huh?). It's SaixKaede (shoujo-ai); so if you don't approve of this couple, then don't read (though you probably will anyways). I've only read some of the manga and have seen only a few of the episodes, so forgive me if some points are wrong.   
  
Lost and Found   
  
It's late.  
  
Well, that's obvious. It's pitch black outside, except for the moon and stars to light the Earth. It's a very calm sort of night. There was a cool breeze, the soft whistling the only sound to pierce my ears.  
  
So why can't I sleep?  
  
I sighed, but not too loud. I didn't want to disturb the sleeping form across from me.  
  
It's funny how fate seems to work. Up until middle school the only thing I ever cared about in this whole world was Rin. My little sister.  
  
Rin was never healthy. In fact most of her life was spent in a hospital. But she always managed to stay cheerful. I spent days where I could've gone out with friends with her in the hospital. I had no friends other than Rin, but that didn't matter to me.   
  
My angel, Shirahime, was created by Rin. She created it for me, with my strength. The strength I held onto to make Rin happy.  
  
So what happened to make it all crumble?  
  
Rin died.  
  
The day she died was the day part of me died. What was the point in being strong if there was no one to be strong for?  
  
Fate took my sister away from me. But fate also rewarded me with someone who could be there for me.  
  
Kaede.  
  
The day Rin died I broke. I thought I could never be repaired. I sat there in the rain, just crying.   
  
"Why are you crying?"  
  
Her cheerfulness seemed to be my strength. That unwavering smile that would brighten anything showed me how much strength and courage she really. And, for the first time since Rin died, I had a friend.  
  
I sat there in that bed, watching Kaede sleep. While sleep was deprived of me due to my dreams of Rin, Kaede found sleep.  
  
It was a routine sleepover like the many others we have had. While my bed was in the shadows hers was right next to the partially open window. She was curled up on her side, her light breathing indicating she was in a deep sleep.  
  
It's been a hard road for the both of us. Along the way we picked up more and more friends, though Kaede will always stand out as my best friend.  
  
Best friend...  
  
I raised a hand to my head. When did things get so complicated for me? Not to say that everything's fallen apart. It hasn't. At least not from the outside.  
  
Things should be fine. I have more friends now than I'd ever had. And Kaede had stuck by me through thick and through thin?  
  
So when was I that I stopped looking at her as a friend?  
  
Kaede will always be my best friend. But, for a long while, I stopped thinking of her as my friend. Once I actually thought of becoming more than just friends with her. It had been a joke, though. It was when I couldn't stop thinking of that possibly that the realization dawned on me.  
  
I loved her. Not in some sister-way, but real love. It was then I realized I loved her so much I didn't know how to deal with it. Her demeanor is so gentle, and her smile is enough to soften my heart. She saved me when I needed to be saved. When everyone thought I was a weirdo she was my best friend. How could I not love her?  
  
Of course, she didn't know. The last thing I needed was to drive away someone so important to me. So I still held my secluded personality.  
  
But, as of late, it had been slipping. Before I'd be jealous of any guy who asked her out. Though she always gently turned them down. It wasn't too long before it became ANY guy who approached her. My feelings were becoming more obvious, and that wasn't a good thing.  
  
Kaede mumbled softly in her sleep, breaking me from my trance. I thought she was waking up but she sunk back into her sleep.  
  
Without realizing what I was doing I slowly rose from my bed. It was like I had lost complete control over my body as I walked over to her bed. When I reached it I sank down to my knees and just stared at her. It had been a while since I really looked at her. Even if it was the back of her head.  
  
She mumbled softly again, causing me to tense. If she woke up right then and saw how close I was to her she would ask questions. Questions I didn't want to answer.  
  
But she didn't awaken. Instead she rolled over onto her back, her left hand gently brushing my arm with the moment.   
  
I found myself looking at her face. People revered her not only for her talent in the Layer, but also for her beautiful smile. "Heaven's Smile" is what they call it. She had such a beautiful smile; it made my knees weak sometimes.  
  
It was then that my body was moving again. This time it was my hand, reaching out to that peaceful face. My fingers brushed against her cheek tentatively. When she didn't awaken I allowed my hand to settle against her cheek.  
  
I knew I had to get back to bed. It was very late and I had a long day ahead of me. But I couldn't move. I couldn't lift my hand from her cheek.  
  
I couldn't stop looking at her face.  
  
My thumb moved, slowly as if to act undetected. It gently brushed against her bottom lip, and I shivered. I knew I shouldn't be doing this, but I couldn't stop.  
  
I moved again, and this time it was my upper body. My hand moved too; from her cheek to very gently cup her chin. I knew what was happening. I was going to kiss her, and I couldn't stop myself. Then again, at that stage I doubt I cared to stop myself. It amazed me that she was still asleep.  
  
My eyes were starting to slide closed, but I forced them open. I wanted to be sure to try to stop if she showed any signs of awakening. My lips gently brushed hers, and I pulled myself back. It wasn't really a kiss; more of a caress. But she still could wake up.  
  
She stirred slightly, but then relaxed. I was more than relieved.  
  
I was suddenly compelled to do it again. If she didn't wake up after all this, then she probably wouldn't wake up from a kiss.  
  
This time I had complete control. I knew I had to do this because I probably wouldn't get another chance. I leaned in closer again, this time allowing my eyes to close. Then I pressed my lips against hers.  
  
Her lips were as soft as I had imagined. Then again, no imagination amounted to the real thing. And the real thing was very worth it.   
  
I had to stop. If I didn't she would definitely wake up. I forced myself away from her and sighed. My heart was slamming against the wall of my chest, but it felt good. But it didn't help me any. It was my first kiss, and it was with my best friend who was dead asleep.  
  
I sauntered back to my bed, knowing that I was going to feel groggy in the morning. Even so, it seemed worth it.  
  
***  
  
"Daijobu, Sai-san?"  
  
"Huh?" I looked up, realizing I had nearly fallen asleep in my bowl of miso soup. "Um, yeah I'm fine."  
  
Kaede looked puzzled, but went back to eating. I didn't know if I could look her straight in the eye.  
  
After we ate, Kaede cleaned the dishes. "Sai-san, can you help me dry the dishes?"  
  
"Sure." I stood up and went over to the counter. I dried all the dishes she handed to me. After what I did last night, it was tough being close to her.  
  
"Sai-san."  
  
"Yes?" I turned to her.   
  
And she surprised me with a quick kiss on my lips. I turned several shades of red, and she laughed softly. Then she leaned in close to me.  
  
"Next time you kiss me, make sure you know I'm awake."  
  
If possible, I turned redder. She was AWAKE?!?!   
  
Kaede gave me one of her beautiful smiles before going about her business.   
  
I just stood there, feeling like an idiot. Then I laughed. Kaede felt the same for me and I never knew it. It was okay. I had felt lost when Rin died. But now that I have Kaede with me, I think I've been found.  
  
Was it bad? Good? Semi-bad/good? Drop in a review, but please be gentle. 


End file.
